An Open Letter to Brother

Hi Brother

The last time I wrote a letter to you, the God-damn courier company probably made a paper boat out of it and used it to sail on the roads of ever water logged Kankarbagh. So the open letter this time. 

You are about to begin a new phase of your life. You are leaving home for pursuing your graduation. I know you do not need any sermons or lectures on how to survive in this cruel world, away from family. In spite of being five years younger than me, you are way more practical and matured, and I know you will be able to tackle every situation that comes your way. I have always been the rebel child, and you the obedient child of mom and dad. So keep it that way even when you are miles away from them. Whenever something distracts you from your goals, remember that your elder sister has already been a disappointment, and that our parents have now pinned their hopes on you. Do not let them down. This certainly does not mean that you don't have to enjoy your life. Relish every bit of the coming four years. Meet new people, explore new places, follow your passions. 

Before this letter starts sounding like a moral science class, I just want to say one last thing... Be a man of dignity and the rest will follow.

Best wishes for your new life.

Yours truly,

Anni Di

The Climb

I can almost see it

That dream I’m dreaming

But there’s a voice inside my head saying

“You’ll never reach it”

Every step I’m taking

Every move I make feels

Lost with no direction

My faith is shaking!- “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus

                             

Ocean of thoughts filling my mind…I’m getting paranoid if they’ll founder me… I guess its time for a self assessment… a bit of introspection… if I really want to save my titanic!
Where am I going? What am I doing? What am I supposed to do? What’s happening around me? Can I make any difference to it?

I used to think that I've become a mature person, I've started differentiating between the right and the wrong, and I’m ready to face the “Real World”.
But I think I was wrong. I was so wrong. I’m still that teenage girl who thinks she will get everything she dreams of… a successful career, a loving life partner and a luxurious life for her family.

Of course she can still get all this, if…. *sigh*
Life would have been so simple without these ifs and buts… but here it is… with all its complications.
Never mind… if life has got a challenge for me, I’ll accept it wholeheartedly!

The last three years have not been what I had expected them to be! From personal life to academic life, I've not been able to deliver my best. In fact, I've made some of the biggest mistakes of my life. I've hurt myself, I've hurt others, I've hurt my family. I've been taking things too lightly… not learning from my mistakes and repeating them again and again.
But what now, is it too late? Am I doomed?
Are all my dreams shattered?
I was that over ambitious girl who wanted to have everything in her life… where did she go? She’s still here I guess! Then what went wrong? Perhaps she thinks she’ll get her dreams fulfilled just by sitting idle and wasting time! But she has to realize that not much time is left for her to waste.

EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!
It’s never too late to be what u might have been. 

For you… FIDATO!

“Fidato”… It means a person you trust the most. It means someone with whom you can be yourself, someone who knows every little secret of yours, someone who can make you feel better every single time you’re low!

Lucky are those who have a Fidato in their lives… and I am one of them! 

Sarthak Dubey, Oriental, Mechanical Engineering… a typical Bhopali Brahmin lad!

Me on the other hand, Oriental, Electronics and Communication Engineering… a typical Pataniya Kayastha lass!

Walking on two different roads with different groups of people, its strange how our paths crossed … Ok now I won’t go into the details of how we became friends and all… but yeah it was meant to be! 

And then… there he was, every single time I needed him…

He was there to make me smile every time I cried…

He helped me in making choices every time I was confused…

Countless times he has chosen me over slumber so that I don’t spend the entire night crying…

What is he best at?? Making fun of people whom I’ve dated or hated just to make me feel better… :D :D

I love him for that!

But he’s even better at making me feel comfortable. Not even once he has let that creepy… “More than friends” waali feeling come between us. And I’m so thankful to him for that!

I don’t know what he does to me but at times I feel he’s like a pied piper when it comes to giving suggestions. I follow every word he says blindly! Gosshh Sarthak Dubey!!!!!!!!!!!

When I’m with him, I can never manipulate anything coz he knows better what’s going inside my li’l head :P

Through this post I want to tell u that these three and a half years of my life would have been tougher if u wouldn’t have been a part of it!

And yeah wanna let you know that you’re a far better fidato than John was in “Jhootha hi sahi” :D :D

Thank you for everything

May every girl get a FIDATO like you… Amen!

Nail Care at Fingertips!

Admiring her long, clean nails... the girl-next-door was wondering what should be the topic of her next blog post...
NAIL CARE?? Yes, definitely!! People should know how to maintain healthy and beautiful nails.

A little time and effort can go a long way in creating gorgeous nails you'll be proud of. Though nails are the dead cells of our body, still we need to take due care of them to keep them live and attractive.

Basic nail care includes cleaning, trimming and filing your nails. You can easily do these steps at home. There's no set rule for how often you can manicure your nails, but in general it should not be done more than once a week.

1. CLEANING
     Soak nails in a bowl of warm water with a gentle soap/shampoo to loosen the dirt. Then clean the nails using a nail brush or soft plastic bristles. The bristles should be firm enough to remove dirt and debris, but make sure they are not too stiff either.

2. TRIMMING
     Trimming nails can keep them looking clean and at a manageable length. Choose a nail length that's appropriate for you. If you wish to keep long nails, use a pair of sharp nail clippers.

3. FILING
     Filing is an important part of nail care. It smooth-ens and shapes nail tips to make them look beautiful. For best results, use a fine grade wooden nail file. File in one direction and avoid filing down the sides of nails.


STAMPING NAIL ART:

Stamping Nail Art lets you put designs by stamping pre-designed images on your nails. Apply or change designs any time you want... do it yourself in just minutes at home, at a friend's house or anywhere you desire. Follow these instructions to do your fingernail art stamping:

• Choose a base coat color. Paint your nails and wailt until the coat dries.
• Apply a different color nail polish to your disc or image plate or straight to the stamper. Your kit will probably come with colors you can choose from. Scrape excess paint off if using a disc and press the stamper firmly onto the disc.
• Press the stamper onto your nails, transferring the design to your nails.
• Put a clear coat of nail polish that comes with your kit to prevent your design from smearing.

With Stamping Nail Art you can create perfect and classy nail designs spending very little time and money, just like a professional nail artist... or even better ;)

14 Useless Tid Bits Of Info About Me!

1.       I love the word awesome… even if the likeness is not that strong, I’ll still describe it as…”u know what, it was just AWESOME!!”

2.       I talk 2 my mom about 4 times a day… since the day I’ve left home, there hasn’t been a single day I haven’t talked 2 her…sharing even the silliest of the things! Love you mummy!

3.       Whenever I do something… I have 101 reasons 2 prove myself right!

4.       I may shout at the top of my voice if I get over excited about something… so think twice before hanging out with me! :P

5.       If you tickle me… then I’m not responsible for your injuries!

6.    My close ones call me “overacting ki dukaan”…  Jus pat on my shoulders & I’ll give u the reaction of a bone getting fractured….. ahhhh mummmmaaaaaaaa!

        

7.       Waiting for someone pisses me off a lot…!

8.       I keep on wondering why God made “lizards”… the world would have been definitely a better place without these creepy creatures! Eewww!!

9.       Can’t live a day without talking to my best friend… totally addicted to that moron… & fortunately, vice versa!!!

10.   Too obsessed with anything and everything related to marriages… from wedding dresses to wedding songs… from the mehendi to the shehnai…!!!!!!!!

11.   I cry over the smallest things… freaking people around me (specially my roomie)… And the very next morning I’m like… “Why you guys so serious???”

12.   I love it when someone says, “u seem to have put on a li’l weight”… My reaction to it…”Seriously??? Awww” 

13.   I swear to myself, every time I go out to buy something, that I won’t even look at pink stuffs… No points for guessing it… yeah I end up buying PINK… why God why??????????? 

14.   My life is nuts… & I just love it that way!

Oouch... its one sided!!!

Oouch… did u say “One Sided”?? It hurts… It definitely does!

It is one of the worst thing that can happen to anyone. Nothing can be more painful than falling in love with someone who can never be yours. People say love is wonderful. All I wonder is how can something so damn wonderful in essence be such a torture when it comes to “Unrequited love”!!

So what next? Do you want to keep on crying for that person who does not even notice your tears? No way! Keep these few tips in mind and I assure you… U’ll start enjoying your love rather than crying over it! 

1.     Don’t force yourself to hate them: If you’re thinking that the only way to get over your feelings is to start hating him/her, then let me tell you, you are only making matters worse for yourself as you’re eventually thinking of that person even more! 

2.    Don’t force them to love you: You simply cannot make anyone fall for you. Everyone have their choices just as you do. For once, think from their perspective, you might not be the one he/she is looking for! You just gotta deal with this truth and it will definitely hurt less.

3.    Keep yourself busy: Come on guys, there’s a lot of important work to do than sitting back and thinking about the one who doesn’t give a damn to you and your feelings. Dedicate your time to your work, your studies, your hobbies! Go get a life!!

4.    Don’t seclude yourself from your dear ones: Try to spend more time with your family and friends. I know you must have been ignoring them, be it unintentionally, for that one person. Don’t do that. Being with them will help you keep your mind off him/her.

5.    Acceptance: This is the biggest step… to realize this was never real, to realize this person was never meant to be yours, to realize you have got no reason to love him/her. I know its difficult but atleast its way better than continue living in a fantasy world… isn’t it?

6.    Time heals all pain: Someday… maybe not today or not tomorrow…but someday… the scars will fade away with time. Time will fill the gap. Life is short and there is no point waiting for someone you can’t have. Instead find someone special who completes you.

Before applying the above tips, always remember no tips can make your life better unless you want it to be better. 

Fact: This will make you feel good… The feeling of not being loved by the person you love, affects 98% of all people during their lifetimes!

So stop having such thoughts in your mind like, “Why me?” or even more dramatic ones like, “Am I  not worth of his/her love” and blah blah! If you’re having such thoughts then let me tell you… YOU’RE SPECIAL AND YOU’LL ALWAYS BE! J

The End

I knew it was meant to end... I knew I couldn't have you for eternity... I knew you would go away someday!

You say you didn't want to change for me... even I never wanted that!

All I ever wanted was to be loved by you...!!!!

And that couldn't happen!

I tried to continue our friendship and suppress my feelings...

Even that couldn't happen!

I tried to part ways and forget you...

Well the "forget you" part couldn't happen and can never happen!

So here we are... parting our ways!

Don't take me wrong... but that's the only choice I have!

Someone has truly said, "TO HAVE SOMETHING HALFWAY IS HARDER THAN NOT HAVING IT AT ALL"

So I would prefer not having you at all.

You'll always be loved and missed by a crazy lass...

Bye. Take care. :)

I can be tough… I can be strong, but with you it’s not like that at all!!

All right… m writing this… don’t know why… m not even sure if you’ll read this ever… but this is the only thing that can help me feel better!

This post contains stuff that I’ve already told u a thousand times, so I don’t want you to go through the torture again! :P

I know I piss you off at times, don’t I? With my sentimental lines, and my never ending expectations, and my tears that are ever ready to flow from my eyes… & of course when I get angry with you over little things… Gosh! I really wonder how u tolerate my tantrums!! Right now when m pondering over all the crazy things I do… m realizing how much I irritate you! sorry L

You know why have I turned this way? It’s the frustration! It’s the helplessness! How restless do you get when you badly want something knowing very well that it is never gonna be yours? How restless do you get when you want to say something out loud, but you can’t? yes, this is how I feel… do u wanna know why?

Coz I want to say “I love you”, but I can’t!

Coz I want to hug you tight, but I can’t!

Coz I want to shower all the love in this world on you, but I can’t!

Coz I want to care for every little thing of yours, but I can’t!

Coz I want to make you only mine, but I can’t!

Coz I want to dedicate every romantic song to you, but I can’t!

Coz I want to break all bindings with you, but I can’t!

Coz I want to explore the world with you, but I can’t!

Coz I want to cross all limits with you, but I can’t! L

I wasn’t like this before… I hated telling someone how I felt. I wanted people to understand themselves what I wanted, and those who couldn’t understand, never made to the list of my dear ones! And now… just look at my life, revolving around someone who… ! Forget it! And here I am, opening my heart out, yelling at you on the top of my voice, and still you fail to understand! What have I done to myself! I hate myself! I regret being madly in love with you! I hope things would be fine once we part ways after college.

But sometimes I wish… I really wish… you were deeply in love with me! I wish you craved for me just like I do! I wish I was the one you would see, every time you closed your eyes just like I see you! I wish you could think of me every time you heard a romantic song or watched a romantic movie! Why cant this be true? Am I asking for too much? I guess I am! But I am not the only one to be blamed… this world makes me believe that this can happen, stories like ours have happened… and they’ve made it!

This is how my feelings never give up on you after getting trampled umpteen times!

 I don’t know if I’ll ever get my answers, I don’t know even I should search for them or not! I don’t know when I’ll end this fucking post…. and end up everything else too! 

coz it's time...

its been a long time i've posted on "My Fairyland"!

coz i think its time...

its time to get out of my fairyland...

its time to face the real world...

its time to stop believing in fairytales and happy endings...

its time to realise that true love exists only in the twilight saga & mills and boon!

i guess this phase comes in the life of every girl next door... sooner or later... some matured ones discover this much before the ones who end up getting hurt by not learning from their mistakes! Fortunately or unfortunately... I am among the latter ones!

so now onwards... no more posts regarding relationships, love, friendship and all...

there are far more serious issues that need our attention!

so readers, the girl next door needs your wishes...! all set to prove herself to the world! Amen!

KEEP BLOGGIN'!! KEEP ROCKIN'!!

a Bihari's Telugu connection!!

during one of my journeys from bhopal to patna...

"somebody please suggest me a good movie... this journey is getting extremely boring!" .

akanksha replied, "no unwatched movie left in my lappie!"

"neither in mine", i said.

"hey, i've got a telugu movie... have heard a lot of praises about it!" ranjan suggested.

"a south indian flick? no ways! don't have any interest in watching lungi clad, moustache wearing heroes going after heavy-weight champion type heroines!"

"well if this is what you think of these movies then you should definitely watch this one...you wont stop thanking me, am sure!"

"is it so? well.... then i can give a try to your tamil flick!"

"its telugu!!"

"tamil, telugu, kannada.... whatever! all the same for me!" i grinned.

dat was how i watched my first telugu movie...& even today i can't stop thanking my friend!

TOP 5 TELUGU MOVIES IN MY LIST

1. ARYA-2

Starring Allu Arjun, 'the stylish star', as he is fondly called... Arya-2 is my most favourite telugu movie. Story of a guy who is ready to sacrifice everything for his best friend (or rather 'blood friend')

including the love of his life! Watch this movie for its excellent sound track, awesome choreography & Allu's heart touching performance as the protagonist.

2. KONCHEM ISHTAM KONCHEM KASHTAM

A super cute romantic movie... starring Siddhartha & Tamanna. Siddhu (Siddhartha) is the only child of separated parents and falls in love with Geeta (Tamanna). But he has a tough job of reuniting his parents in order to get the permission of his traditional would be father in law to marry Geeta. Music is composed by the awesome threesome of Shankar Ehsaan Loy. All the tracks are superb but my personal favorite is "Aanandma" sung by Shankar Mahadevan & Shreya Ghoshal.

3. MAGADHEERA

This historical love epic shows the reincarnation of two lovers who die with their love unfulfilled.

The story goes back and forth into the past and the present. The USP of this saga... its magnificient sets, brilliant camera work & good editing. The leading actors, Ram Charan and Kajal Agarwal have done full justice to their roles. The scene where Ram Charan as Bhairava kills 100 warriors of the enemy troop all alone, will leave you spellbound! Music is also appreciable.

4. BOMMARILLU

Siddhartha again steals your heart with his exceptionally good performance. This romantic comedy also has our very own "jaane tu" girl Genelia playing the role of ha... ha...hasini!!

Story of the film deals with the relationship that sours between a good father and a good son.

All the characters have managed to give their best especially Prakash Raj as Siddhu's dad.

Each and every track of the movie touches your heart. To describe the movie in two words... PICTURE PERFECT!!

5. HAPPY  DAYS

The storyline of this movie revolves around the life of a group of friends who experience friendship, love, heratbreaks, fights, responsibilties.

Feauturing mostly newcomers, this flick became a big commercial hit! Lot of movies have been made on campus life but happy days gives you a totally new perspective.

Go watch it if you want to take a nostalgic trip down the memory lane & relive the memories of your college life!

the chum in your spouse...!!

its 3 am... insomnia hitting on me again! never mind!

well... had other ways of tackling this thief of my slumber... but chose to create this post...!

hope it helps!! :P

Do u ever miss the chum in your spouse? i guess most of us do!

at times, we feel we are not able to share things with our life partners the way we do with our buddies! we can't talk, laugh, cry ... in short, we find it difficult to be ourselves in front of our "special one"!! the reason behind it.... spending less time as friends... and getting into the relationship in haste.

Friendship is often the basis for a deeper kind of love, one that tends to be more long-term. In my opinion, that kind of chemistry lasts where the boy and the girl have been friends for quite long... have known each other well... seen all the aspects of each other's characters... have been with each other in their good & bad times!

So....... u'll never miss the chum in your spouse if u've found your spouse in your chum! :)

Its then when u feel like singing, "Tera mujhse hai pehle ka naata koi... yu hi nahi dil lubhaata koi... jaane tuuuuuuu, ya jaane naaaaaaa!!!"

If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow,
keep your head together and call my name out loud.
Soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name, and you know where ever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall, all you have to do is call and I'll be there.

 

Even experts agree on the healthy survival rates of many friend-to-lover relationships.  All the time u're being friends, u're learning about each other. Subconsciously u're deciding whether u can take it further, from a friendship on to a more emotional level.

So so so... all single guys and girls out there..... if u start feeling for your best buddy, talk to them openly! like any relationship, good communication is the key to keep u both in good terms & regardless of the outcome... maintain your strong bond forever 'coz Rats & Meows are always meant to be together! :)

All that happens in love! (Part ii)

The world around Kavya had changed totally! She had started loving each and every thing around her… everything appeared so pleasant like never before. Just the thought of Sahil would bring a huge smile on her lips, sparkle in her eyes and a glow on her face!! Before meeting Sahil, she lived in a world where she hated guys like anything… but now, her entire world revolved around a single guy!! The girl who believed that true love, promises of staying with each other till last breath, planning for the future, etc existed only in Yash Chopra’s movies and Mills & Boons’ novels… but now, she herself was experiencing all this!!

 Sahil taught her the meaning of love. He made her believe that her life was a fairytale, she was a princess and he, her prince charming. Though he had many flings in the past, but it was the first time he was so serious about his relationship. He always made her feel special. He was mad for her. He could spend hours looking at his princess. He could do anything to see her smile. He had decided that he’ll spend his entire life with Kavya. Everything was going on better than anyone expected… until 7^th of Feb 2008!

That morning Sahil arrived at the office earlier than usual. Kavya’s face beamed as she saw her lover boy waiting for her!!

“Hey hi…” Kavya smiled. Her smile vanished soon when she saw Sahil’s face.  His eyes were red as if he hadn’t slept the previous night and his face appeared very pale! “Shona…what happened to you?? you fine na??”

“Kavya… I …I …”, Sahil’s voice was shaking. Kavya’s heart knew something was horribly wrong with him ‘coz Sahil wasn’t among those people who panicked on small issues. “Kavya listen to me very carefully…”

“I am listening…go on!”Sahil sighed. “One of my friend’s boyfriend had gone to donate blood to one of his relatives yesterday. But there the doctors found that he was HIV positive.” “What??? Ohhh gosh!! Poor guy! But…whom are you talking about?” “Kavya let me complete first…” “Alright!”

“Doctors have said that he has about one year left! My friend and her boyfriend love each other a lot. They cant live without each other. I just want your suggestion… Should my friend be with him or should she leave him right now?”

“She should obviously be with him till his last breath… when two people are in a relationship, they are not just for the good times. Even if the guy doesn’t have much time left, the girl should definitely stay by his side and shower all her love on him! Now are you going to tell me who is that friend of yours?”

Sahil took out a piece of paper and handed it over to Kavya. “Whats this?”, Kavya was puzzled. She couldn’t understand wat was going on! She unfolded the paper. It appeared to be a prescription or report kind of thing. It read…

HIV- POSITIVE.

On top of the paper, Kavya read something that made her mind go blank…

Patient’s name: SAHIL KASHYAP

She read it again and again. “This cant be! No! there must be some misunderstanding! This report cant be true!! Sahil say something please… this isn’t true na?? this repot can’t be yours! Nothing can happen to you!!”

“Kavya this report is mine. And its true! They have referred me to APOLLO. I am leaving for delhi tomorrow with mum and dad!

Kavya fainted in Sahil’s arms. When she regained her consciousness, she was lying in the nearby nursing home with Sahil sitting next to her, holding her hand. She caught his sleeves and started crying “Sahil, please tell me that it was a nightmare and nothing has happened to you…”. “It wasn’t a nightmare Kavya…but its not true either!

“what??????????”

“The report was fake. M perfectly fine. Just wanted to tease you a bit!!” Sahil grinned.

“Tease me a bit?? Sahil u almost gave me a heart attack and you are saying a bit?????” Kavya was extremely annoyed with Sahil’s deadly prank but at the same time she was very happy that it was just a prank!!

“I hate you Sahil kashyap!”

“And I love you Kavya Verma! And I also know how madly u love me…thanks to this HIV prank!”

Before Kavya could scold him more, Sahil brought his face close to hers and kissed her!!

…to be continued